Posts Tagged ‘counselling’

Stress and how it can affect your body

Friday, February 11th, 2011

Not all stress is harmful.  There is a type of stress that is exciting and good for us, the type that we experience when skiing, doing an extreme sport or racing to meet an exciting deadline.  Acute short-term stress can also be good for us, but can be distressing, this can come when our skiing goes wrong or when somebody is angry and confronts us.  Some people seem to make that type of stress their way of life.

More harmful stress is often called Chronic Stress, this type seems to go on for ever and we cannot seem to escape from it.  It frequently occurs at work or in our home lives.  Chronic stress can cause physical symptoms like headaches and reduced immunity to infections.  If allowed to continue it can cause more serious problems like: depression, hair loss, heart disease, obesity, anxiety, sexual problems, ulcers and sleeplessness.

In order to cope with stress we need to look after our bodies and our minds.  Social support can be a great stress reliever and studies have shown that those who have strong support tend to be healthier, happier and less stressed. 

Many of us forget to take care of ourselves; a massage, a long relaxing bath, a healthy diet and exercise can all help prevent chronic stress.   Having a well-cared-for body can make you feel good about yourself and your life; it also conveys to others that you value yourself.  Remember, people who neglect themselves are at danger of unhappiness and low self-esteem.  Sometimes people who spend their time taking care of others can be at risk of burn out.  Taking time to care for yourself can make you a better carer for others.   

If you are struggling with stress, consider visiting a local counsellor, joining a meditation group, taking up yoga and doing everything you can to protect your health and wellbeing.

Remember to take time to smell the flowers……

A client’s view of a counselling session

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

One of my clients wrote this piece of prose and has kindly given me permission to share it with you.

The Meeting

She sat quietly, mentally going through the checklist; two chairs carefully positioned, slightly offset; apart yet not distant; glasses positioned on a side table, tissues easily accessible. She checked the email, not much detail, just a name and a request to meet. She wondered about the stranger as the clock ticked towards the appointed hour.

Outside, the stranger paced, preoccupied, pensive, anxious, stifling the tears that welled up, controlling the breaths, constantly checking the time; too early to arrive at the meeting place; still time to run; fight or flight? Primordial brain dominating; tick; tick; tick…..

Decision made; the stranger climbed the stairs, entering the unfamiliar territory, heart racing, breath shallow, nerves jangling, all senses on red alert.

From her seat she heard the footsteps on the stairs, feeling the hesitance on the other side of the door and then the knock, quiet, timid. She stood and moved to open the door; a welcoming smile; a gentle ‘hello’; gesticulating towards the chair; standing aside to allow the stranger to pass.

The stranger sat, the anxiety palpable, unsure what to do, brain whirling, overrun with emotion.

She waited a while then gently prompted; inviting the stranger to talk, to share. Allowing the silence to fill the room until the stranger felt able to communicate. Actively listening, assessing, watching, looking for signs of rapport that would be essential if the relationship was to progress.

The stranger spoke. A damburst of words; a torrent of emotion; floods of tears; jumbled sentences; headlines providing a glimpse of the stories that lay behind; the complex jigsaw of the stranger’s life.

She listened to the uncontrolled flow, reflecting back key points, allowing time for the stranger’s tears to subside and a sense of calm to settle in the room. She knew that they would meet again; that she could help the stranger; that they would travel together for a while; counsellor and client.

Agreement was reached, a new time set and the client left the room. Re-entering the world that continued unabated outside. Avoiding eye contact. Mentally re-running the contact. Glad to be accepted; seeing a glimmer of light in the distance; knowing that the journey had begun.

The counsellor sat quietly, reflecting on the meeting; making notes, preparing a new client file; using the tried and trusted strategies to detach, clear her mind; centre herself and prepare. Mentally going through the checklist; two chairs carefully positioned, slightly offset, apart yet not distant; glasses positioned on a side table, tissues easily accessible; time passed. From her seat she heard footsteps on the stairs; a different client, different journey and they too would travel together for a while.