Archive for June, 2011

How to make those Important Changes Happen.

Thursday, June 30th, 2011

We may want to make big changes in our lives and in our careers but this type of change doesn’t come easily. We often have a longing to make change and we need to consider what to do about it. At times we also have change thrust upon us. Both types of change can feel uncomfortable and maybe even frightening. So what to do?

But first, what not to do: Do not ignore the need for change. We ignore change at our peril.

Create time and space to think about the change. Big changes need a lot of time and take energy. If you are rushed you might make an error or might not make the change at all.

  1. Think carefully about what the change means for you. Does it bring meaning to your life, possible success, joy?
  2. Take time to imagine the outcome to help inspire you to move onwards.
  3. Make a plan even if it is a really basic one. Good planning is so important to successful change.
  4. Look for support, the support of colleagues, friends, your partner and possibly a coach. This support can really help you on your way forward.
  5. Remember to build on your strengths.
  6. Manage your stress, as too much stress can make the task much harder or even impossible.
  7. Do your best.
  8. Try to remain detached from the outcome, as attachment to a specific outcome can prevent you from adjusting to the unforeseen. There will be many unforeseen circumstances along the way.
  9. Have faith in yourself. Trust yourself.

Remember, even if at first the change looks like disaster, change frequently takes you to a better place.

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” – Anatole France

Do you need to forgive somebody?

Thursday, June 30th, 2011

Forgiving can change your view of life and can give you peace and contentment.

Everyone has been hurt by somebody and sometime in their lives. When you have been hurt, what have you done, have you carried the hurt around for years? Have you carried the anger with you, cursed that person and told everyone about what they have done to you. Where did all that get you? When you carry hurt and anger around with you, you are carrying poison which can hurt you mentally and physically. Forgiveness changes that.

Sometimes it is us that has done the hurting, and then we carry the guilt around with us, again this is poison and we need to forgive ourselves. Not forgiving yourself is as damaging as not forgiving someone else.

Forgiveness reduces:

Feeling of depression
Anxiety and stress
Anger and aggression
Blood pressure
Risk of drug or alcohol abuse

Forgiveness also helps your relationships with others, prevents the control that the other person has over your thoughts and it can improve your psychological health.

Forgiveness can be verbal, in your thoughts and through the written word (even if you burn or shred the letter and don’t send it).

Remember, as Alexander Pope said “To err is human; to forgive, divine”. Forgiving someone can change your outlook on life, giving you peace, removing bitterness, anger, resentment and pain. You can then move forward free from those restrictions.