Posted: August 19th, 2010
I have recently been talking with a friend who has a family member with OCD and thought I would write something about this on my blog.
If you have somebody in your family who is struggling with Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) you will find an Article on this site providing some further thoughts on the topic. Please remember that your relative is a person in their own right. A person who is healthy and able in many ways, but who nonetheless has a disorder.
Do not allow the OCD to take over your family life, keep stress low and the families life as normal as possible.
For people with OCD to make progress towards recovery you must resist helping in their ritual behaviour.
When talking about the behaviour with the person effected, don’t criticise past behaviour, state what you want to happen in the future. Avoid making any criticism personal and help your relative to feel accepted.
Remember, gentle humour alongside care can really help. Support from you doesn’t always have to be serious. People struggling with OCD often know how silly their fear is and they can often see the funny side of their behaviour as long as they feel that you are laughing with them not at them. The humour should not be disrespectful.
The way you react to the family member and their symptoms can have a huge impact. Negative comments and/or criticism can make the disorder worse. It is important to keep calm and provide a supportive environment. There is no point in getting angry with somebody who has OCD or telling them to just stop. They can’t and the extra pressure from you and others will probably make the behaviour worse. Be kind and be patient, focus on the positive and praise any success.
Finally, remember you and other family members may need support and help too. Find somebody to confide in whether it is a friend, your GP or a counsellor.
Tags: anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, behaviour, Compulsions, Obsessions, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD, rituals, stress
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Posted: March 11th, 2010
There are many types of meditation. It has been practiced for hundreds if not thousands of years. You can practice it alone or in a group, with or without guidance. Here are some of the most well known types of meditation:
Guided Meditation – You simply sit or lay comfortably in a quiet place with your eyes closed and listen to a guide or a tape who will help you visualise, for example gardens, some fountains and pools or the sea; or alternatively you may be taken on a visualised journey. This is an enjoyable and very relaxing experience. Towards the end your guide will gently bring you back to awareness of your surroundings.
Mindfulness Meditation – Sit preferably on the floor with your legs crossed for this meditation. Make sure you are comfortable. Close you eyes and observe your breathing, reminding yourself to relax. If thoughts enter you mind notice them and the gently let them go returning to your breathing. If an emotion arises, observe it, don’t dwell on it or label it as good or bad, just let it be and return your thoughts to your breathing.
Candle Meditation – You keep your eyes open and focus on a candle flame, gently drawing your thoughts back to the flame when they wander. Candle meditation can be very profound and deep.
Breathing Meditation – You sit comfortably in a quiet place with your eyes closed, allowing your hands to rest in your lap. Take some slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, emptying your lungs on the out breath. You then breathe normally whilst concentrating on your breathing, drawing your mind gently back to your breath when it wanders.
Walking Meditation – As the name implies you can do this meditation whilst walking. You take time to notice your body and how it feels, you relax the muscles in your face, shoulders and arms. Take a few deep breaths relaxing further as you exhale. Then begin walking, becoming aware of the movement of your body and your breath. Keep gently bringing your thoughts back if they wander.
Meditation takes practice, I recommend that most people start with guided meditation as this helps you to stick with it and learn the necessary skills. It is the quickest way to experience the wonderful benefits of meditation. Just thinks how your mind is working all day and every day, it also works at night when we are asleep. It is our ally as it helps us to work out problems and make decisions, but it can also be our enemy when it nags at us and worries us, raising our stress levels and heart rate, sometime unnecessarily.
Benefits – When we meditate our heart rate and breathing slow down. Blood pressure usually returns to normal and our immune system (which is adversely affected by stress) improves. Meditation helps you to sleep better, can lead to a more positive outlook on life and reduce our stress levels. Many athletes use meditation to focus on achieving their goals and to recover from injury. Business leaders use meditation to help them deal with pressure and make clear decisions. Meditation can benefit us all, none of us want to be stressed and we all want to be happy, healthy and relaxed.
If you are interested in learning more about meditation please contact me through this blog or by email. I do run a meditation group in Colyton, East Devon.
Tags: benefits, breathing, calm, candle meditation, depression, guided meditation, high blood pressure, meditation, meditation practice, mindfulness, sleep, stress, walking
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Posted: February 20th, 2010
This is just a thought that may help if you are struggling with an important decision and for whatever reason are unable to work with a coach to clarify things in your mind.
Frequently, when we are in need of advice about an important decision or stage in our lives we ask our friends and family, they, whilst they have the very best intentions for us, can often pass on their own fears. Instead, we should look for a ‘brave’ person whether close to us or not. A brave person who practices what they preach. The best advice comes from somebody who thinks carefully, doesn’t take unnecessary risks and then acts with confidence.
I hope this helps.
Tags: brave, coach, confidence, decision, fear, fears, risk, risks
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Posted: January 18th, 2010
This is the first post on my blog. I would like to welcome you to the blog and to my website. I hope you will find them both helpful and informative. I will be writing regular blogs and would love to hear from you with your thoughts and with any questions you may have.
With best wishes,
Jan
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Posted: January 17th, 2010
One of my clients wrote this piece of prose and has kindly given me permission to share it with you.
The Meeting
She sat quietly, mentally going through the checklist; two chairs carefully positioned, slightly offset; apart yet not distant; glasses positioned on a side table, tissues easily accessible. She checked the email, not much detail, just a name and a request to meet. She wondered about the stranger as the clock ticked towards the appointed hour.
Outside, the stranger paced, preoccupied, pensive, anxious, stifling the tears that welled up, controlling the breaths, constantly checking the time; too early to arrive at the meeting place; still time to run; fight or flight? Primordial brain dominating; tick; tick; tick…..
Decision made; the stranger climbed the stairs, entering the unfamiliar territory, heart racing, breath shallow, nerves jangling, all senses on red alert.
From her seat she heard the footsteps on the stairs, feeling the hesitance on the other side of the door and then the knock, quiet, timid. She stood and moved to open the door; a welcoming smile; a gentle ‘hello’; gesticulating towards the chair; standing aside to allow the stranger to pass.
The stranger sat, the anxiety palpable, unsure what to do, brain whirling, overrun with emotion.
She waited a while then gently prompted; inviting the stranger to talk, to share. Allowing the silence to fill the room until the stranger felt able to communicate. Actively listening, assessing, watching, looking for signs of rapport that would be essential if the relationship was to progress.
The stranger spoke. A damburst of words; a torrent of emotion; floods of tears; jumbled sentences; headlines providing a glimpse of the stories that lay behind; the complex jigsaw of the stranger’s life.
She listened to the uncontrolled flow, reflecting back key points, allowing time for the stranger’s tears to subside and a sense of calm to settle in the room. She knew that they would meet again; that she could help the stranger; that they would travel together for a while; counsellor and client.
Agreement was reached, a new time set and the client left the room. Re-entering the world that continued unabated outside. Avoiding eye contact. Mentally re-running the contact. Glad to be accepted; seeing a glimmer of light in the distance; knowing that the journey had begun.
The counsellor sat quietly, reflecting on the meeting; making notes, preparing a new client file; using the tried and trusted strategies to detach, clear her mind; centre herself and prepare. Mentally going through the checklist; two chairs carefully positioned, slightly offset, apart yet not distant; glasses positioned on a side table, tissues easily accessible; time passed. From her seat she heard footsteps on the stairs; a different client, different journey and they too would travel together for a while.
Tags: counselling, depression, fear, meeting, session, stress
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